Even a Hollywood writers strike couldn’t prevent this miserable show from clawing its way onto the airwaves. The 50th Annual Grammy Awards airs Sunday February 10 on CBS. But don’t waste your time. Go read a book or download music that doesn’t suck instead.

Here are just a few of the reasons we won’t be tuning in.

Top 5 Grammy Music Turn Offs

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Fergie
America, how the hell did we get tricked into listening to Fergie?
We used to love rock’n’roll. From Hendrix to Nirvana, we wanted loud guitars and wild music. What is this garbage? “My Humps,” “Big Girls Don’t Cry” and “Fergalicious”?
Seriously, even brain-damaged monkeys wouldn’t listen to this crap. Gwen Stefani is Einstein compared to this nonsense…well, almost. Fergie will duet with John Legend on the show. We like Legend, but we’re pretty sure this is going to be a trainwreck.

Josh Groban

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Odds are your mom loves this dork. He’s a pop/opera star with carefully tussled hair and the Oprah seal of approval stamped on his forehead, need we say more? Go on, listen to Josh Groban, we dare you. Groban will perform a duet with legendary Italian tenor Andrea Bocelli during the 2008 Grammy Awards broadcast. We suggest you take this opportunity to do something more fun, like giving the cat a bubble bath.

I’d like to thank…boring…
I’d like to thank a bunch of rich industry guys whose asses I need to kiss on TV right now so they’ll continue to force radio stations to play my terrible songs (that someone else writes for me) and trick dumb kids into buying my awful album so I can pay for renovations to my mansion and my girlfriend. Amen.

“Umbrella”
Rihanna is up for a number of awards, which means viewers will have to endure countless replays of this song. Maybe it was cute at first, but it has officially become annoying.

Beyonce

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Isn’t anyone else bored with her yet? She’s nominated for Record of the Year for B’Day, an album that was released in 2006! Guess Grammy couldn’t scrape up anything better in 2007? How sad. Is anybody else bothered by the fact that B’Day sounds a lot like bidet? Seriously, why didn’t someone in marketing stop her?

There are plenty of other reasons to avoid watching this show celebrating the continued dominance of bad pop music, but if you’re not convinced by now, you never will be.

Just don’t say we didn’t warn you.

What do you think of the 2008 Grammys? Leave a comment and let us know!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 6th, 2008 at 12:28 pm and is filed under Pop Music. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.