Tonight the American Idol Top 8 contestants will butcher classic songs the same way they always do—but this time it’s for charity.

Ugh.

During the extra-long show (starts at 7:30pm), the remaining contestants will sing inspirational songs while celebrities do their best to sound humble and concerned about other humans.  Good luck.

Meanwhile, operators are standing by to take money from the poor dopes who actually watch this show.

At least it’s for a good cause. On its website, Fox declares that the vaguely titled “Idol Gives Back Foundation” “…harnesses American Idol’s ability to capture America’s hearts and the power of entertainment to benefit some of the poorest and most vulnerable people in the world.”

Well, at least the mega-corporation is attempting to harness American Idol’s power for good, instead of evil…for one night anyway.

Ok, so the money raised from this event actually benefits six charities, including Paul Simon’s Children’s Health Fund, the Bono-approved Global Fund, and Brad Pitt’s Make It Right.

We’re betting there will be lots of “heartfelt” moments and plenty of tears, and you could probably make a fortune if you got a penny every time someone uses the word “inspirational.”

Speaking of fortune, this year’s installment of Idol Gives Back is expected to raise $100 million dollars.

We’ll try to appreciate this as the nice gesture that it is, instead of being cynical and wondering how many tons of cash Simon, Paula, Randy and Ryan are making off of this show.

Making us even less inclined to watch this horror-show is the fact that the event is advertised as featuring a list of top-notch celebs—and who is at the top of the list on Fox’s website? Robin Williams, AKA, the most annoyingly unfunny and overrated human being ever to grace a TV set. We hope he does a weird string of hyperactive cartoon voices, John Wayne impressions, and sassy character voices that all wind up sounding like oddly insulting stereotypes of Puerto Ricans…oh wait, that’s his whole act.

So, uh, tune in late and maybe you’ll miss it.

Among the evening’s other celebrity guests:  Celine Dion, Forest Whitaker, Billy Crystal, Dane Cook, Kiefer Sutherland, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale, Jennifer Connolly, Elliott Yamin, Fantasia, Amy Adams, Bono, Brad Pitt, Reese Witherspoon, Miley Cyrus, Mariah Carey, Eli Manning, Peyton Manning, Fergie, Chris Daughtry, Carrie Underwood, Annie Lennox, John Legend, Snoop Dogg, Maroon 5, Heart and Gloria Estefan.

Billy Crystal, Robin Williams and Dane Cook together? How much do we have to donate to make it stop?

It’s Your Turn…

Will you donate money to the American Idol charity show? Leave a comment and let us know!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 9th, 2008 at 1:18 pm and is filed under Music Downloads, Pop Music. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.