The latest batch of musicians and songwriters being inducted into the Rock’n’Roll Hall of Fame was just announced. We are completely stoked to see rockabilly guitar queen Wanda Jackson on the list–she’s not hailed as “the female Elvis” for nothing, kids.
However, our eyes rolled back in our heads in disgust at the sight of metal’s most over-hyped sellouts (ahem, Metallica), although we know they’re not even the lamest band in the club. So, today, we’re taking a look at some other folks who, like Metallica, don’t deserve to pay admission for a tour of the Rock’n’Roll Hall of Fame, let alone be inducted into it.
Madonna was inducted into the Rock’n’Roll Hall of Fame in 2008, and while there’s no denying that she is mysteriously enduringly popular, she is not rock’n’roll. Having Iggy Pop sing her songs at the induction ceremony was a nice touch and a respectable ploy for instant rock cred, but it was as empty as her marriage to Guy Ritchie. Riding trends, favoring fashion over substance and blatantly vying for pop superstardom is not rock’n’roll…well, not unless you’re David Bowie.
James Taylor was inducted into the Rock’n’Roll Hall of Fame in 2000. We don’t even know where to begin with this one. Is there any sound less rock’n’roll than friggin’ James Taylor sedated whine?! This soft-spoken acoustic strummer is the opposite of rock–it’s a fact, look it up in Wiki or something. Lullabies for tired hippies and soundtracks to the endless days of bored housewives, we get sleepy just reading this guy’s name.
Inducted in 1998, we’re tempted to lump the Eagles into the same lame heap as James Taylor, but we’re sure people would try to defend the group based on the sprawling, epic, snooze-inducing “Hotel California.”
Michael Jackson made the cut in 2001, and while we don’t see how the “King of Pop” fits into the world of rock, we’ll probably have to let it slide based on the fact that he still has legions of obviously insane fans that we’d rather not anger too much because white, sequined gloves kinda creep us out.
So, aside from a few brief, allegedly awesome moments in the long-gone-’80s, Metallica is undeniably awful. From the Napster debacle to Load/Reload and the completely forgettable Death Magnetic, these guys should retire to their private islands and leave the world alone. Unfortunately, things at the Rock’n’Roll Hall of Fame will probably just keep getting worse. After all, it’ll only be a few more decades before Fall Out Boy, Beyonce and Britney Spears are eligible for induction.
If you haven’t already heard it, there’s a great anti-Rock hall song called “Bombs Away (at the Rock’n'Roll Hall of Fame)” that all good punks should learn by heart.
And, please, do yourself a favor, and go listen to some real rock from Wanda Jackson, something like “Funnel of Love” or “Hard Headed Woman,” perhaps. Seriously. Go. Now. Here. Or, better yet, go catch her in concert while you still have a chance. At age 71 Wanda’s still got guitar skills that put today’s guitar hero fakers to shame.
Who isn’t in the Rock’n’Roll Hall of Fame, but should be?
Leave a comment and tell us what’s on your list!
LonelyPoet says...
01.18.09 3:55 am
Let me tell you… Metallica redefined Hard Rock music with their own way. Those understand that stands up and hail Metallica as the greatest Band ever. The problem here is understanding music. There were situations when Metallica in their private life stood against Napster like organization I think the right and wrong of that is not yet decided. People are still debating that matter. Metallica as musicians told their opinion this article I believe is just the opinion of the writer and I don’t see much truth in it. Death Magnetic is an amazing Album… here again understanding the music is the key. Asking them to retire to their private islands. In that case I can ask the writer to go and get some basic education in music and then try to judge others with their heartless opinions.