Marilyn Manson, Slayer 2009 Tour Dates Sponsored by Energy Drinks, Satan

In what could be the evilest summer vacation since Jason first starting knocking teens off at Crystal Lake on Friday the 13th, Slayer and Marilyn Manson are teaming up and hitting the road for a summer tour (tour dates below).

In the ‘80s, California thrashers Slayer were at the center of countless controversies thanks to their allegedly satanic lyrics and demonically fast guitar solos.

Marilyn Manson made a spectacle of himself in the ‘90s, tearing pages from the Book of Mormon during a show in Utah and generally doing his best cracked-out David Bowie impersonation in an attempt to freak-out skittish parents and win over bored teenagers.

Now, these two formerly formidable noisemakers are putting on their best rock’n’roll costumes and going trick-or-treating together touring together.

Do kids (or parents)still care about Slayer or Manson?
Or are parents more afraid their daughters will grow up skanky like Britney and Miley?

Of course, these days, the scariest thing about Slayer (whose leader is closing in on age 50) and Manson (age 40) is the swiftness with which they seem to have sold their souls—not to the devil—but to Coca Cola (same thing?).

This traveling circus of rock’n’roll mischief is officially named the Rockstar Enery Drink Mayhem Festival tour. Doesn’t exactly strike fear into anyone’s heart, now does it? Then again, the fact that people pay $4 a pop for these awful drinks is pretty scary.

Maybe next time the boys will get Centrum Silver or Metamucil to sponsor their tour.

In any case, we can almost hear the sound of metalheads around the world raising their fists and saying “hell yeah!” as they start to search for tickets online.

Either that, or they’re reaching for another Rockstar.
Now, if Slayer could just star in one of those Guitar Hero games…

Slayer and Manson: Still Cool or Time to Quit?
Leave a comment and tell us what you think!

Tour dates below. Tickets go onsale 4/24, probably from the usual evil source: Ticketmaster.

7/10, Sacramento, CA (Sleep Train Amphitheatre)
7/11, San Francisco, CA (Shoreline Amphitheatre)
7/12, San Bernardino, CA (Glen Helen Pavilion)
7/14, Seattle, WA (White River Amphitheater)
7/17, Phoenix, AZ (Cricket Pavilion(
7/18, Albuquerque, NM (Journal Pavilion)
7/19, Denver, CO (Fiddler’s Green Amphitheatre)
7/21, Kansas City, KS (Sandstone Amphitheater)
7/22, St. Louis, MO (Verizon Wireless Amphitheater)
7/24, Atlanta, GA (Lakewood Amphitheater)
7/25, Indianapolis, IN (Verizon Wireless Music Centre)
7/26, Chicago, IL (First Midwest Bank Amphitheatre)
7/28, Toronto, ON (Molson Amphitheater)
7/29, Scranton, PA (Toyota Pavilion)
7/31, Cleveland, OH (Blossom Music Center)
< 8/1, Pittsburgh, PA (Post Gazette Pavilion)
8/2, Detroit, MI (DTE Energy Music Theatre)
8/4, Boston, MA (Tweeter Center)
8/6, Virginia Beach, VA (Virginia Beach Amphitheater)
8/7, Camden, NJ (Susquehanna Bank Center)
8/8, Hartford, CT (New England Dodge Music Center)
8/9, Washington, DC (Nissan Pavilion)
8/11, Tampa, FL (Ford Amphitheatre)
8/12, West Palm Beach, FL (Cruzan Amphitheatre)
8/14, Dallas, TX (Superpages.com Center)
8/15, Houston, TX (Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion)
8/16, San Antonio, TX (Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre