A Few Good Reasons We HATE Radiohead. Admit it, you do, too…
Ok, this has gone on for far too long! We will no longer let Weezer-lovin’ hipsters bully us into pretending we give a rat’s ass about Radiohead. Join the revolution! Here are a few reasons we’re sick of this band. We probably missed a few thousand points, so feel free to add to the list (there’s a comments section below). In fact, we’ll probably add to this list later…but here’s what comes to mind at the moment.
10 Things I Hate About You, Radiohead
10. The Bends.
We all hated Radiohead when this album came out because they were just a bunch of British art-school jerks who got famous thanks to their ability to make bland, likeable alt-rock by stealing the quiet/loud dynamic perfected by the Pixies and Nirvana. Even though it wasn’t cool to like them, it was hard to deny that this album turned out to be the shining moment of ‘90s alt-rock drama. It’s not emo, but it’s riveting and emotional. This album spawned the great debate over whether this “Creep” band was actually worthwhile, or just another Bush…We hate it, because it made us love Radiohead and we wanted them to be our own little secret, because “Fake Plastic Trees” and “The Bends” made us feel warm and fuzzy.
9. “Just”
Seriously, what the hell was the deal with the video for “Just”? Watch it, and be annoyed once again by the mysterious force that causes everyone to drop down and sleep in the streets…A mysterious man tells us the secret—but you have to be a lip-reader to decipher it. Thanks, guys. Actually, he’s probably saying something like “Trust me…this band is cool now, but soon they’ll be over-rated art-rock wankers…” We didn’t believe it either.
8. Fratboys with acoustic guitars.
I don’t care how much your buddies say you rock—they’re drunk, and you’re dumb—you cannot sing the falsetto parts of “Creep” or “Fake Plastic Trees.” Please stop.
7. Thom Yorke’s wonky eye.
Seriously. What’s up with that? We’re not trying to be mean…but you’ve seen it, right? We love him like a broken puppy. We’re just saying. That’s all…
6. Two words: In Rainbows.
The revolution will be downloaded…for free. (Yawn) Nice try, fellas.
5. Ok Computer.
As much as we hated to admit it, Ok Computer was a great album, possibly better than the Bends, actually. It was dark, and scary and challenging and sad. It was like the Wall or Dark Side of the Moon for the Starbucks generation. We kind of hate Radiohead for not breaking up when this perfect album came out. It would’ve been legendary. But now, it’s just a footnote to their increasingly blah catalog.
4. We’d say Hail to the Theif…But we’re pretty sure nobody ever actually listened to it. It looks nice on our wobbly Ikea CD rack though.
3. Muse.
If it weren’t for Radiohead, Muse wouldn’t have anyone to steal ideas from. We really hate Muse.
2. We dare you to hum a song from Kid A.
1. Laser Floyd.
We hate Radiohead because someday they’ll be doomed to the same stoner fate as Pink Floyd by providing the soundtrack to a laser show at the planetarium. Sure, it’s fun, but stoners will love it—and stoners smell bad and we don’t want to hang out with them.
Seriously, isn’t anybody else sick of worshipping this band for no reason!?
Leave a comment and let us know what you’d add to the list.
Stay tuned for part two. Right now, we’re too bummed to think about it any more.
MCLOVIN says...
07.28.09 12:35 am
F— this list! radiohead rocks!!!! they’re amazing and will live on forever!
McHATIN says...
07.30.09 6:06 am
F— you MCLOVIN! Some of their songs have good tunes. Thats maybe 1%. Still they’re weird.
Radiohead doesn’t deserve a place in music. Permanent blot in the name of music. Pushing out s— to the market!!
NotJon says...
07.30.09 6:22 pm
OK Computer is the most overrated album ever. It doesn’t even deserve recognition, they didn’t do anything new or special. Layers of guitar and singing like a bitch a classic album does not make.
Kid A says...
08.7.09 2:54 am
‘The national anthem’ and ‘Idioteque’ are easy to hum LOL
radiohead is not the best band in the world but you dont have to listen to them if you dont want to..
Besides if you guys hate radiohead so much why do you spend so muhc time wriiting s— about them?
dave says...
08.11.09 8:35 am
Muse > Radiohead. nuff said
Tim says...
08.17.09 9:34 pm
F— your crappy list your probably just a bunch of faggy metal or American glam rock listening to s—-. F—- YOU!
be serious says...
08.18.09 1:12 pm
This article did nothing to properly criticize the band. some of your points shouldn’t even be there, simply because they don’t relate to them. If you want to preach badly about an awesome band (imo) then do it right.
#10 and 5 sound like compliments to me. ‘riveting and emotional’..
a bad video does not make a song bad as well. number 8, 7, 2, 3, 1… can all be classified as bs… yes.. that nasty thing that comes out of that grazing mammal’s rear end.
no relation whatsoever. wat was the point in this…
If you don’t like don’t listen. If you want to give your reasons for not liking, then give LOGICAL ones.
Dietnam says...
08.18.09 7:21 pm
you are better than god.
Vanessa says...
08.23.09 11:20 pm
You’re just fuck**g idiots. That’s a stupid list, there’s no real objective argument. It’s only a proof that music is just a question of taste, and according to me, Radiohead is the most awesome and creative band of all time.
sonihal says...
08.24.09 7:14 am
Lol none of these make any sense
10. basically says how you all thought Radiohead were gonna suck…but then they didn’t…how is that bad?
9. If just is such a bad video how come you’re still wondering what the point of it was…surely that’s what makes it a GOOD video.
8. The fact that other people can’t sing like Radiohead just means that Thom Yorke has a fantastic voice.
7. Thom Yorke had an operation on his eye that went wrong…not his fault…besides why would something like that bother you? Does it affect his singing?
6. What’s wrong with a bands attempt to try to fix the music industry…it might have not gone that well, but nothing wrong with the idea. You probably downloaded it.
5. Ok computer is overated…but that doesnt stop it from being a very good album.
4. Hail to the Thief is a brilliant album, the fact that you’ve never listened to it shows your ignorance towards the subject anyway.
3. Now you are criticising another brilliant band, muse might have a similar style but they have a lot of original material thats good if not better than Radiohead’s.
2. Is your opinion of a good song one you can hum along to. If that’s your opinion why don’t you listen to the charts?
1. So you hate Radiohead because of a prediction you have about them which is based on little fact and, even if that were to be how Radiohead end up that isn’t so bad that someone would choose to use there music?
So really while I think you’re entitled to your opinion, no body said you had to worship this band and to me it just seems a little petty that you would post such an argument on to the internet especially since you havent really based your argument on any real facts.
So im posting this basically to defend one of my favorite bands when I feel they have done all they need to earn their place in music.
Listen and see says...
09.2.09 11:46 am
Porcupine Tree > Radiohead
Jon says...
09.10.09 2:45 am
Radiohead + Porcupine Tree + The Decemberists = orgasm in my trousers.
also Radiohead > Muse. Muse is very good though.
CMan says...
09.13.09 4:58 am
dude Muse absolutely dominates Radiohead. only complete idiots still think Muse copy Radiohead. seriously i tried getting into Radiohead and couldn’t, their music is retarded, it sucks. Muse>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Radiohead.
NMHBear says...
09.22.09 7:40 am
Do none of you understand irony?
These posts are just tragic.
jeremy says...
09.25.09 2:02 pm
Radiohead is one of the best bands in the world. Thom is one hell of a singer. So is Muse. so shut up. absolution and exogenesis are masterpieces.
Royce says...
10.2.09 9:49 pm
some people are intellectually inferior and incapable of understanding good music. these people hate radiohead, like Kid Rock and Nickelback, Love GW, and do not like Obama for reasons which they will not admit. let them complain and whine. they won’t understand and possibly, some will evolve. fortunately, if any of these mentally inferior are able to reproduce, the overall arc of human intelligence is improving with every generation so eventually, even their offspring will be capable of understanding.
Radiopussy added...
First off all ROYCE F&*( YOU!
“Intellectually inferior”????
You have nazi opinions. SO YOU decide what’s intellectually superior based on your own taste? That’s intellectual fascism. Then saying if you don’t like radiohead we’ve gotta be into nickelback? Are you f—— stupid? Gettaf—outtahere!
Nickelback is even worse than radiohead. At least radiohead has some (overrated) talent.. What’s next Royce? We all gotta listen to this weak depressing bleak sound or we will be shot?
We have to love Obama ’cause he promises hope but delivers nothing?
You won’t eveolve Royce, you think you have aqcuired the holy grail of music taste, but in fact you listen to radiohead, weak sounding moaning depressing pretentious p—- sound.
A reasonable man would judge someone by his accomplishments/stature.
Radiohead sounds like a weak version of better bands.
They made some okay tracks. High and dry is nice, only the vocals get on my nerves pretty soon. They’ll never surpass nevermind and in utero with their silly “i’m so sad and misunderstood” wining. It always sounds exactly like that.
Vocabulary “Fading out again” “Disapearing completely” etc.; this band is made to depress people.
If you listen to creep, it’s clear it’s based upon teen spirit. Only made into weak sauce. How can anybody listen to this guy moan on and on every single cd about how he’s so important and unhappy/misunderstood (ad nauseam)? What’s worse If I looked like him I’d NEVER center a clip around my face. It’s just plainly annoying and probably meant that way.
Author is right on target wit the quiet/loud dynamic observation.
Weak extract of way better bands.
10.10.09 3:34 pm
. added...
you even used “mentally inferior”. You sound like that dirty bastard Himmler.
10.10.09 3:39 pm
john says...
10.5.09 12:21 am
this list is absolutely ridiculous. Radiohead is the most intelligent band out there, and they make the best music out there today and have been making the best music for the past fifteen years. Muse copies Radiohead but whatever they still sound good sometimes i guess even though most of their songs sound the same. At least Radiohead can sing about more than the end of the world.
birdkill says...
10.6.09 12:50 pm
This is the most retarded hate list ever.. i feel that the authors did try to get into radiohead but something terrible happened to them.. so they resorted to putting such a dumb post..
Moreover those who say Muse >>>> Radiohead can f— themselves.. Its been seven years now and not a single day without radiohead in my ears..
If i were to summarise your post. the result will be ‘we are haters and we dont know why’.
and ya Radiohead >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> _______ you can put ne f—— band names there..
f— you..
peace
Jon Birch says...
10.12.09 3:42 pm
All you guys are retarded, lol, this list is just SARCASM.
Dolts.
radiopussy again, sorry people says...
10.12.09 6:28 pm
the remarks on that guy in comment 16 were on target. I was enraged by his babbling about “inferior” this and that.
I regret the remarks about “overratedness” of the band we’re discussing however. Should have listened more tunes before blabbering. I apologise dear readers and musicians.
Their music seems to be pretty diverse and well thought of. drums sound great. Only too many vocal lines in my opinion. Certainly 1000 times better than the s— that gets pushed nowadays by record companies. Thus I changed my opinion.
Sean says...
10.26.09 6:00 pm
Here’s what you should add to the list:
1) I apologize for poorly attempting to defame one of the most influential and innovative bands of our generation, because I am incapable of understanding great music unless it makes me want to ‘hum the melodies in my head’.
I applaud you for acknowledging “OK Computer” as a great album and Muse as a less-than-important band. I deplore your parochial musical perspective and wish you the best of luck in your future postings, because it’s going to take a hell of a lot to convince people who actually do “get it” to stop listening to music they know is brilliant.
A few more notes - if you think Radiohead’s music is purely depressing, then you are clearly not listening with open ears. Don’t reveal your superficiality and shallowness in a posting that is suppose to sway the opinions of others (i.e. noting on Thom Yorke’s eye). Finally, the people who love Radiohead for the right reasons aren’t ‘worshiping’ them, but they respect them, because unlike you, they are capable of a shrewd and highly accurate musical demonstration of the modern human condition.
John says...
11.2.09 7:57 pm
“We dare you to hum a song from Kid A.”
Great litmus test for good music.
Retards.
John says...
11.2.09 7:59 pm
Background dissonance makes melodies sound different than when you hum them without music.
You wouldn’t know because you sit around jackin’ it to Taylor Swift.
Steve says...
11.3.09 8:45 pm
I can’t stand Radiohead either. As for your number 3. point. Matt Bellamy of Muse isn’t stealing anything from Thom Yorke. Both he and Yorke are in great debt to Jeff Buckley. He’s the biggest influence for them both. Their falsettos are directly a result of Buckley’s inspiration.
kirrilly says...
11.4.09 1:42 am
pree sure HTTT is their best album..
Frank says...
11.8.09 8:10 am
I think Radiohead is overrated too. I own OK Computer and In Rainbows, and I like their songs “High and Dry” , “No Surprises” and “15 Step”. But the thing that gets me is how awful Thom Yorke’s falsetto is. He really can’t sing, can he? I don’t care how angst-laden he is (he really shouldn’t be at all, since he has like 32 billion fanboys…) - it just sounds bad.
It’s fine if you like them, but personally I don’t they’re fit to listen to.
Dean says...
11.10.09 9:53 pm
Ok, the songs from the 90’s where radiohead was trying to take the grunge approach was cool, (specifically Creep). So was Bush, and STP, and Creed and… well you get the point. This band is good at one thing, that is post grunge, everything after that is art rock, and poor elitist art rock at that. If it wasnt for Creep and Fake Plastic Trees this band would still be a no name indie band. I don’t care what anyone says I cant stand their music nowadays, it is got to much electronic feel in it and it takes forever for them to get anywhere with it, it’s not melodious either. To me Radiohead is what Tool would be if they sucked and were super mellow, throw in some NIN for good measure. I like Tool. Nine Iinch Nails is whatever, but Radio head gets too much critical acclaim for the trash they make. Just because they are from the UK doesnt mean they are good. BTW trust me, I got In Rainbows thinking it was going to be good, turned out it was a bunch of weird and waaaaaay to dragged out songs, with no catchiness to them. I have given this band a chance and have decided after ten years of hearing them, that they are really not that good.
Sean added...
Sad, that you don’t know how to listen to music properly. Music doesn’t need ‘catchy’ (catchy by societal standards) melodies to be great. Radiohead carefully crafted their melodies, and some are quite ingenious when matched up with the background dissonance and/or consonance. Fake Plastic Trees is incredible, yes. Creep is okay, but you’re missing something if you haven’t discovered the beauty of their two greatest artworks, Ok Computer and Kid A.
11.11.09 2:24 pm
fastaire says...
11.15.09 8:08 pm
Radiohead music is pure unadulterated cacophony. What’s brilliant though is that they are able to suck their “useful idiot” followers into thinking it’s good and sell records. I can hear Yorke now. “This bank deposit is for you, losers”. As the Two Black Crows Mack said to Moran, “Maaaannnn, even if that was good I wouldn’t like it!!”
Me says...
11.15.09 10:33 pm
Anybody who says this music is good and/or creative is a moron and
enjoy real music.