Worst Valentines Day Gifts and Cool Gift Alternatives

Leave it to the Japanese to cut to the heart of Valentine’s Day with robotic efficiency.

In Japan, female workers are expected to give Valentines chocolates to their male co-workers. This is called giri-choko from the words giri (”obligation”) and choko, (”chocolate”).

Obligation chocolate doesn’t exactly sound yummy.

Still, we have a funny feeling that most gifts exchanged on Valentine’s Day are a sign of obligation rather than affection.

After all, if your sweetie gives you a gift on Valentine’s Day, it’s nice, but you know they’re only doing it because they’re expected to (and they don’t want to sleep on the sofa). But, if they give you gifts on some random Wednesday—just because they were thinking of you—that is much more special and thoughtful.

So, in honor of everyone who is feeling a little less than enthusiastic about shelling out cash for obligation chocolate, stuffed animals and mass-produced Valentine’s Day cards (with awful poems and bad puns inside), we’d like to offer this list of

Cool Alternatives to Lame Valentine’s Day Gifts

1. Romantic CD

Bad Idea: Any love songs CD you buy at the store that includes the words “romance,” “lovers” or “Celine Dion” is a bad idea. Yes, it is convenient to buy a Kenny G. CD at Starbucks while you’re waiting for your latte, but it’s still a bad idea.

Cool Alternative: Show your sweetie how thoughtful you are by taking the time to download songs and put together a mix CD. It can be country love songs, cheesy power ballads or anything else you two enjoy.If you’ve seen a concert together, a CD by that artist might be a good choice, too. Bonus points if the mix CD includes a cute homemade cover or personalized liner notes.
Suggested listening: anything by Frank Sinatra, John Legend downloads or Sam Cooke.

2. Fancy Dinner:

Bad Idea: Making reservations at some fancy pants restaurant that is going to be too busy and loud for you to enjoy a quiet evening with your Valentine. It’s stressful and usually not much fun.

Cool Alternative: If you want the fancy dinner, schedule it for a different night of the week. The food will be just as good, and the atmosphere will be much cozier.
Or, you could stay home and cook a nice, easy meal together (pasta is always a good choice), or order a pizza if that’s more your style. This is supposed to be a night for you to enjoy—you don’t have to do everything the way Hallmark or Martha Stewart tell you to.

3. Expensive Candy
Bad Idea: Candy that looks good, but tastes bad.
Perhaps the only thing worse than receiving Japanese Obligation Chocolate, is receiving obligation chocolate that doesn’t even taste good.Yes, candy that comes in a big, frilly heart-shaped box makes a good impression, but more often than not, the candy inside is gross. Does anybody really like those orange cream nougat filled things? No. And that’s why they always end up getting spit out quickly.

Cool Alternative: Candy that is fun and yummy.
Chocolate is good. Peanut butter is good. Put ‘em together and you’ve got Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. While, the usual two-pack displayed by the check-out counter isn’t too romantic, this time of year Reese’s offers the yummy bites in the classic heart-shaped box. If you’re nice, maybe your Valentine will share.

4. Romantic Movie
Bad Idea: Ladies, if you have someone to share this gooey day with, be happy—and show him you care by NOT making him watch a crappy chick flick with you. Whether it’s the urban dance romance StepUp 2 or something starring Meg Ryan, Julia Roberts, Anne Hathaway or Kate Hudson—Just say NO.

Romantic movies seldom inspire real romance. They inspire petty fights and resentment stemming from comments like “Why don’t you ever do sweet things like George Clooney’s character does in this (lame) movie?”

Cool Alternative: Instead, settle in at home on the sofa with some popcorn and the scariest movie you can get your hands on. A thriller is sure to have you wrapped snugly in your sweetie’s arms. Everyone wins!

5. Stuffed Animals

Bad Idea: Unless you’re in middle school, you probably don’t need to buy your Valentine a stuffed animal. There’s a fine line between cute and creepy, and something about buying kids’ toys for the object of your romantic affection seems a little creepy.

Cool Alternative: No, you should not taxidermy your Sweetie’s beloved cat, Scratchy.
Instead you should…Well…Actually, we’re not sure what the cool alternative to this one is…Maybe it’s a stuffed turkey dinner? Stuffed crust pizza? Ok, maybe not. Let’s just skip this one…

6. Flowers Ah, this one is tricky. Some girls will be shattered if they’re not presented with the classic bunch of red roses.

However, depending on the gal you’re with, she might see a dozen overpriced roses as little cliché and impersonal. If you know her favorite flower, get those instead—it’s more thoughtful. If she doesn’t care for flowers, then maybe you’re off the hook…but you better be sure about this one, otherwise you might end up spending the night on the sofa after all.

Got a hot tip for how to make Valentine’s Day cool? Tell us about it in the comments section!