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2008 Olympics Dumbest Sports from Ping Pong to Polo

Published August 8th, 2008 by Karen

Most people think that the Olympics are all about running fast and lifting heavy stuff.

While that’s largely true, we also found out that there are a lot of things you can win a medal for that we didn’t even know were sports—in fact, we thought a few of them were just games for intoxicated college co-eds.

In honor of the Olympics, we present:

Top Five Worst 2008 Olympic Sports.
Enjoy.

5. Water polo
Playing in the pool is fun.
Watching other people play in the pool is not.

4. Synchronized swimming
Unless your synchronized swimming routine involves a massive recreation of the Thriller video…well, we still wouldn’t be interested.

3. Softball
All of the fun of alcohol-soaked co-ed college softball, without the co-eds or the alcohol.

2. Volleyball and Beach Volleyball
Somehow volleyball actually counts as two sports. We thought this was just a way for the gym “teacher” to torture nerds.

1. Tie: Badminton, Handball, Table Tennis
The top slot is a three-way tie between a family of sports that we really don’t even think are sports.

Badminton
Seriously, badminton? Isn’t that something you play in your backyard during BBQ season? Might as well make lawn darts a sport, too.

Handball
Nice try, yuppie.
No one ever blasted “We Will Rock You” at a handball match.

Table Tennis
That’s right, you can win a medal playing ping pong. Unfortunately, ping pong is only fun if it is part of a drinking game. Our apologies to Forrest Gump. Oh yeah, and did anybody see that movie Balls of Fury? Neither did we, but the commercials were enough to ensure that we don’t like ping pong anymore.

Is there a silly Olympic sport we missed?
Leave a comment and tell us what’s on your list!

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2008 Olympics Opening Ceremony & National Anthems Downloads

Published August 7th, 2008 by Karen

War and Why the Olympics Just Don’t Matter Anymore

News broadcasts are abuzz with the impending 2008 Olympics Opening Ceremony in China set to be held on August 8, 2008.

But do the Olympics really matter?

There are countless wars going on in the world right now.
Actual, legitimate wars with people being murdered and lives destroyed.

With that in mind, it’s difficult to decide whether convincing the world’s warring nations to temporarily tolerate each other long enough to compete in the 2008 Olympics is a step towards true diplomacy, or simply a way of placing a bandage over the real issue. Pretending to get along for something meaningless, while ignoring the world’s real problems.

Will seeing athletes from diverse nations compete reinforce the need to dominate each other, or illustrate the basic commonalities that extend beyond borders and political agendas?

Or, worse still, will it just be two weeks of jocks on parade pounding their chests to the beat of empty patriotism and national anthems and failing to provoke any thought in the audience beyond wondering who can run the fastest?

Then again, perhaps this spirit of (hopefully) friendly competition gives athletes and fans a chance to put aside their difference and escape the harsh political realities that plague their countries and simply enjoy the games. And there is certainly value in that.

Let’s hope that this Olympic season—a particularly important and potentially volatile one at that, as has already been shown by the violence in China—inspires some thought (and perhaps some legitimate diplomatic progress) within the global community.

Are the olympics important during times of war and political turmoil? Leave a comment and tell us what you think.

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2008 Super Bowl Halftime Music Still Lame

Published February 4th, 2008 by Karen

There was a time when the entertainment at football games was limited to the conventional marching band routine.

However, things have changed, and for the Super Bowl Halftime Show, the musical acts fill the half-time show get nearly as much publicity as the teams in the big game, like 2008 Super Bowl Winner New York Giants.

This year’s musical program included a comeback attempt from Paula Abdul.

So, while most of the world has forgotten her lame pop career (remember the lip synching scandal?), and the rest of the world wishing she’d shut-up on American Idol—who thought this was the time to force a Paula Abdul comeback on a captive Super Bowl 2008 audience?

If you must torture yourself, you can watch Abdul’s horrible Super Bowl performance of “Forever Your Girl” and an awful new Randy Jackson song, “Dance Like There’s No Tomorrow,” here.

The vocals are so processed, it sounds like a malfunctioning robot is singing the song. Abdul sort of dances, but she mostly just walks around and shakes her hair like a shampoo commercial. The climax is a dance sequence with a microphone stand, which is particularly funny since Abdul doesn’t really seem to be singing.

Also on the bill, 2007 American Idol Winner Jordin Sparks performed the National Anthem. One of the least interesting Idols ever, Sparks’ claim-to-fame is that her father is retired football player, Phillippi Sparks. Maybe she’ll retire now, too.

The 2008 Super Bowl Half-Time Show with Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers wasn’t bad. Sticking with a set of tried and true classics, Petty played hits such as “I Won’t Back Down,” “Runnin’ Down a Dream,” “Free Fallin’” and, Hillary Clinton’s campaign song, “American Girl.”

This year’s Tom Petty Super Bowl concert was certainly better than the usual parade of boring pop stars like Jessica Simpson or Kid Rock, but after all these years Petty isn’t exactly full of surprises.

The Half-Time Show organizers originally wanted the Eagles to perform. Thankfully, they declined.

Maybe next year, fans should get to vote to decide who will perform at halftime.